How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize