My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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