Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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