they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
