It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If that was your dad, he is hot
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
