The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Floor bacon is actually really good
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
