I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I bet he comes in French.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
