I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
