how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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