Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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