i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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