We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
