when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
