This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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