He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
