Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
this just has baby written all over it
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
