Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
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