well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize