talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
