We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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