I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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