How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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