I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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