Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize