Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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