Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
