Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
