Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
