we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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