Are we in a gay sports bar?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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