just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
