you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize