I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
