just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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