Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
