CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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