3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
