I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
