i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
