I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
When are your genitals available?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
