As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
