Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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