I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Non-Jews are for practice
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Alive.
So much puke
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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