they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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