I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize
