I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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