Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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