i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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