I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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