i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
