Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
