And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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