why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Mom said you looked used
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I need to calm my uterus...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize