Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
