I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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