Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
