Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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