wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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