so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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