What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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